Jesus vs. Buuda who will win? PRO=Jesus Neg=Buuda

As my buddy Steven Colbert would say "God loves and blesses America." Thus if God loves America Jesus loves america too or is kicked off to the underworld. Now since America fights a bunch of people Jesus fights for America thus we win. Now when we go after China which we'll end up doing, Jesus will have to fight Buuda(excuse me for miss-spelling it)and it will be the god fight of the century. The reason I think Jesus would win is because he'd use his Jesus powers on Buuda(ex:omega flood, jesus beam, resurrection). Buuda won't fight back because first he's fat, and second he tries to be peaceful thus Jesus will walk all over him.

Hahaha, no! Jesus could never hurt the Buddha! First things first, Jesus is a pacifist, and no Jesus doesn't have an omega flood or a Jesus beam. Jesus does have resurrection, sadly Buddha as reincarnation so this point is rather moot. Furthermore Jesus needs to be on a cross to be resurrected, Buddha can make sure Jesus does not find a cross by sitting on him, because as my opponent said, he is big.

Next let us check this excerpt from http://www.dlshq.org..., a site dedicated to Buddha:

"Buddha performed some miracles. A savage serpent of great magical power sent forth fire against Buddha. Buddha turned his own body into fire and sent forth flames against the serpent. Once a tree bent down one of its branches in order to help Buddha when he wanted to come up out of the water of a tank. One day five hundred pieces of firewood split by themselves at Buddha's command. Buddha created five hundred vessels with fire burning in them for the Jatilas to warm themselves on a winter night. When there was flood, he caused the water to recede and then he walked over the water."

1. Buddha can turn into a fireball and shoot fireballs, this owns Jesus.
2. Plants come to the aid of Buddha, he controls the Ent army! http://www.secretmuseum.com...
3. Buddha can split things when he commands it, Buddha would split any cross near Jesus on command. Jesus would never resurrect.
4. Buddha creates matter out of nothing, 500 vessles, this is akin to Jesus' talent for feeding many people with only 2 fish and some bread.
5. Even if Jesus could make an omega flood Buddha has the ability to make any flood recede and then walk over it anyways.

Furthermore another site that lends some expertise on Buddha: http://web.ukonline.co.uk... has this to say of his first supernatural power:

"1. IDDHIVIDHA - THE POWER OF TRANSFORMATION.

The Buddha said "If a monk should frame a wish as follows: "Let me exercise the various magical powers, let me being one become multiform., let me being multiform become one, let me become visible, become invisible, go without hindrance through walls, ramparts or mountains as if through air, let me rise and sink in the ground as if in the water, let me walk on the water as if on unyielding ground, let me travel cross-legged through the air liked a winged bird, let me touch and feel with my hand the moon and the sun mighty and powerful though they are, and let me go without my body even up to the Brahma world," then must he be perfect in the precepts (Sila), bring his thoughts to a state of quiescence (Samadhi), practice diligently the trances (Jhana), attain to insight (Panna) and be frequenter to lonely places." "

Thus Buddha can quite literally do anything, and if somehow he did manage to die he would just be reincarnated.

I now stand open for my opponent's rebuttal.

Well to refute my opponent I would like to state the powers Jesus has by turning to Steven Colbert. Jesus powers refers to the many various and wonderful mystical powers with which Jesus wields to smite his enemies! Some of these blatantly amazing powers include turning water into wine, wine into gasoline and gasoline back into dinosaurs.

Amongst His other mighty powers:

Making the Red Sea surfable for The Jews
Heat vision/AKA:Jesus Beam
Making taxes (and tax collectors) cool again
Turning Peters into rocks
Creating horny girls in order to attract a following of disciples
Invention of the color TV in 1953
Nuclear weapons technology granting

Also floods are possible because if you look in the Old Testament in the bible you'll see the Story of Noah and the Ark.
Also back from my friend Mr. Colbert he has proved in his book(I Am America and So Can You) that god has won every war he has fought with non-god at 0 and the democratic congress with -1. Problem is he doesn't occupy well with the case of the Iraqi war. Also Jesus has hundreds of thousands of angels and more with god who has all of Jesus' powers and more. Also with the leadership of Kenny from South Park(Episode where Kenny beats hell with PSP) Heaven is unstoppable. To refute Buddha's power of making things out of matter all you have to do is secure him in a nom-matter container. Also to drive the nail in the Coffin Jesus has the plaque which he used vs. the Egyptians to free the Jews.
So now you can clearly see Jesus is the ultimate Alpha Omega.

Alright first things first, my opponent has conceded me all of Buddha supernatural powers. He however has added to Jesus' super powers.

1. Jesus can turn water into wine. This has no impact on a fight with Buddha.

2. Jesus can turn water into gasoline, this is bad for Jesus considering that Buddha can become a fireball and shoot fireballs.

3. Jesus can turn gasoline into dinosaurs, despite the sketch source this also has little impact. The ent army easily destroys any dinosaur army. Not to mention a dinosaur will not be able to touch fireball buddha. Furthermore if Buddha desires he can turn himself, through his power of transformation, into the mightiest dinosaur of them all in order to fight the dinosaurs.

4. Jesus can make the red sea surfable for the Jews. Despite this being pointless in a fight Buddha could make the sea recede until it was unsurfable.

5. Jesus has heat vision. This is fine, let us examine the serpent scenario again. When the serpent shoots fire at Buddha he himself just turns into a fireball and shoots fire back. Thus Jesus not being able to turn himself into a fireball would render hims as dead as the Serpent.

6. Jesus can make tax collectors cool again. Buddha can split tax collectors in two with this mind, this makes them even more cool.

7. Jesus can turn Peter into rocks. Buddha can make rocks out of nothing, as he can make matter out of nothing. Buddha doesn't need Peter to do such a feat.

8. Jesus can create horny girls to attract disciples. Buddha can turn itself into the horniest girl of them all, and the most beautiful. This attracts far more disciples than Jesus. Furthermore Buddha can turn itself into a female of any particular race, attracting disciples of every race, not just humans. Example: Buddha and his dragon disciple: http://yangsgifts.com...

Does Jesus have a dragon? Didn't think so.

9. Jesus invented Color T.V in 1953. Buddha actually made T.V shows so someone could use the color T.V.

10. Jesus can grant nuclear weapon technology. So? Buddha could make a lightsaber if he wanted. Or an anti-nuke shield. Plus my opponent never mentions Jesus being persuasive, so while he might be able to grant nuclear weapon technology he then has to convince someone to use it on Buddha. Buddha will become the most beautiful girl and unconvince any such attempt.

11. Jesus makes floods. Sweet, Buddha recedes floods and walks over them anyways.

12. God has one every war with a non god that he has fought. Great but Buddha is a god, so this doesn't even apply.

13. Jesus/God has hundreds of thousands of angels. Secondly in the old testament Satan takes a third of those angels with him into the underworld. So let me ask my readers this. Satan, who looks like this http://unsportsmanlikecomment.files.wordpress.com... managed to convince a third of an angels to come to his side. Buddha on the other hand can look like this:

http://bp3.blogger.com...

or this:

http://hornofgabriel.files.wordpress.com...

or yes, if Buddha really wanted to in order to scare angels:

http://www.kazuya-akimoto.com...

So the question: If Satan could convince 1/3 of the angels to join his side looking as he did how many angels are going to join Buddha's side? A great deal more than a third.

Sadly my opponent never mentioned any of the angels having any super powers so having an army of angels is still just as pointless as having an army of disciples.

14. God has greater powers then Jesus. Maybe, but my opponent offers no gaurantee that god is going to bother helping Jesus. Personally put in gods place if Jesus decided suddenly to break his teaching of pacifism to pick a fight with the jolliest deity ever on no provocation; I would have to side with Buddha. Not to mention Buddha, in gods position, can do more for god than Jesus could.

15. Heaven has the help of Kenny and is PSP. This is once again assuming that heaven decides to help Jesus in his unprovoked attack of aggression on a peaceful deity. Sadly even if this did happen Kenny would be of little use, I watched that entire episode and noticed that Kenny never charged his PSP, it is doubtlessly almost out of batteries by now. Furthermore Buddha can split the PSP with his mind if the tide turns the wrong way.

16. Jesus could put Buddha in a non-matter container. This is of little consequence as Buddha can make things out of nothing, see my 4th point. He will simply make an non-matter container breaking gun and blow his way out.

17. Jesus has the plaque which he used vs. the Egyptians to free the Jews. So? Buddha doesn't need that plaque, he can BE that plaque!

18. With all of this being said and considering my opponent allowed all of my initial 6 points to stand I can see nothing but a vote for the innocent and very sexy Buddha in this round.